HUILING [:
' star lover
' authetic NERD
' handbeller
' Kerunophobia
(means scared of thunder and lighting)
' 010491
' plmgps, plmgss, sajc, rmit
currently:
school's started :(( terribly sad that her 9 mths of holiday ended like so abruptly.. mugger life kicking back sooon
Luv
' Family, Freinds
' Reading SleePing
' :Music:Art:
' NOT doing AnythinG
Hate
' household chores
' mugging
' homework
' anything that requires me to THINK alot
' unreasonable people
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Coding: Me!
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' being able to fly... *
' get chance to sit on a flying broom sticks or magic carpet *
' a BABY grand piano
' MASTER THE ART OF TELEPORTING =D *
' be a ambidextrous (so i can finish my hw in time) *
' do well in everything
but afteall these years she knows that wishes are just another fantasy crafted out by her little brain.
they are only present in the unrealistic world, that Utopia she's looking for. Maybe in Neverland too...
Games
Click Me (:
2b2'05
3a3'06
Chesed
Ching Fang
Dawn
Dehui
Diane
Elizabeth
Gerard
Hui Xin
Jess
Joan
Joyce
BESTIE!!! Man Ling
Ming Fang
OCIP 2008 thailand
Petch
Rach
Sherry
Xi Ying
Yuan Qing
here
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i am in a state of confusion now...it's seems just so close yet so far feeling. i keep thinking about this issue and seriousl i cant concentrate during lectures and tutorials and even when i am at home doing hw, i keep reflecting, pondering.... will things be like what it used to be before??
did i do anything wrong or i did sth??? why everyday seems just so normal yet it's so NOT normal. deep inside, it's really not normal at all, far from norm. am i such a bad friend that u cant tell me what's the problem with me and i cant change? i HATE HATE HATE this feeling. even we are sitting just barely a few cm apart i feel like we are at opposite poles of the worlds. am i that detestable? just look in my eyes or saying "hi/bye" that difficult?
the one-liner answers/response made me sick and tired of being the one who tries to initate the conversation. i am confused. how someone be so close at point of time, is strangers now? it's just illogical. the change kinda happened in a snap of a finger. i cant comprehend. i would want to know what's going on but just didnt have that courage to ask. perhaps it's just avoiding the issue. cos it is too fragile and anything comment or what so ever might turn into a friendship that can never be mended. just dont know how to describe this feeling of lost. going to school is never the same. i wonder if 'you' would feel the same way as me?
sometimes i wish i just dont have to come to sch so i wont keep thinking and brooding over this issue. if only i can delete or quarantine this unpleasant thing somewhere so i will nv get to face it again. though it may seems like a small issue and others would say "aiyah, nvm just ignore it and study hard. anw you wont see each other again after As what" but but but.... just cant help it, my mind would wander off and imagine stuff. i try to put myself into your shoe but i never figured out why. i really really really got this urge to ask you, but the qn just couldnt come out of my throat. then i would have regreted, i shld have asked. shldnt i!
still, i am distracted by this for a couple of wks now. does things really got to turn out this way? is this what u wanted? your life will be better without my existence?? if this's so i wish i had nv met you. only if i could read your mind.
haiz.. my mind is in a whirlpool.... avoidance. is it what we wanted? you are just so "hot n cold"
i think i got a problem, but i just dont know what's the problem. :((( feeling so miserable, sigh. what can i do?